He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
