just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
