You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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