Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
