If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
