You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
