My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This is classic penis vs brain.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
