I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
