Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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