Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
