god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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