Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
