Sponge bath it is.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
