we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
