They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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