I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
