Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
