either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
