Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
