Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
