uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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