sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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