So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
