sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
