Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
