wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So much rum. So many feels.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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