So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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