with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
