FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
