AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
