I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
