ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
