he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
