Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
last night I used snow as a chaser
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