I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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