I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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