Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im holly from the hills drunk
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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