i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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