I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
