All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
