Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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