So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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