Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dicks are not precious.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
