ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Welp...herpes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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