I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
