whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
