Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
