Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
