great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize