She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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