Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
