who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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