he wants to bone in the snuggie
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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