consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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