Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
