I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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