Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
