What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
